I don’t usually do duplicate blogs because some readers read both this and the California HOA & Condo Law blog(both being availalble on the mainpage of my website at www.californiacondoguru.com/mainpage.html). But here goes, this is an important message – if it gets through to ONE PERSON I have done by part to make the world a better place today!
This is a topic near and dear to my heart because I see many many people in my work – and also other areas of life – who are mad, and I don’t mean a flare up, I mean that is the way they live their lives.
It’s okay to be mad about something. Life does not always go the way we want it to. Stuff happens that is out of our control and the way we deal with it is what determines whether we are happy or mad. Being mad does no good. Looking for solutions, seeking help, thinking things through, looking for a way to turn a distasteful situation around, those are reactions that do something good.
You might say who am I to talk. But here’s the short scoop. Like many, but I have faced challenges and hurdles in my life. I have always been tall and big for my age. In younger years that challenged my self confidence royally. I was a victim of considerable teasing. I have in my life experienced the death of a grandchild (my very first, and after the high that comes with that gift) through a painful process of looking for a cure for hystiosytosis. I’ve lost numerous pets and friends, saw family members working through very tough situations, have a son that was in the military and a policeman, have been dealing with aged parents who are suffering (trying to keep on a good face), could’ve died from a blood clot and pulmonary embolism a few years ago, had knee replacement surgery, several hospital stays in my life, suffered economic distress, had to recreate myself and my practice more than once to survive, and thrive, have made a few enemies without even trying. There are people who are worse off than me, amd better off than me, and people whose attitudes I admire and try to emulate.
I choose to focus on the good, to turn situations around and to start getting up almost (working to this point) the moment I start to fall down. It’s a lot more productive. I can stop crying or griping and concentrate on something useful, like writing this blog.
I live in a townhouse right now, one I have owned for years. I tried to sell it for more than 11 years and had sales fall through because of some strange things, and some normal things. A realtor died in the middle of one transaction and the buyers backed out. The next buyers read the documents 4 days before closing backed out because the place was on leased ground from the city (although they had had the documents for weeks). A realtor put a bid in sight unseen because of the location on behalf of a client, promising she was familiar with all the floor plans, and aborting a weekend open house, and the Monday after the buyer backed out. And of course, there was then the 8+ year construction defect litigation, and the subsequent 1+ year reconstruction. I have seen lots of stress pass through my neighbors and the workers. Those people that remain vindictive, mad, frustrated and complain, complain, complain will probably always be complainers. Those that ask questions, look for the best outcome, accept some things including some responsibility for helping to find a solution are happier people. They may have days where they are stressed and frustrated (including me) and they may say things that are uncharacteristic, but they realize it and do something about it (like apologize).
These (the ones that are looking for solutions instead of muddling around in the distress) are the ones that are going to go on with life, find a better path, and hopefully be happy.
Don’t you want to be one of those? Or one of the persons that just remains mad, day after day, mad at the world, mad at the developer, mad at the board, mad at homeowners, mad at co-workers, bosses, the weather, the sun, the rain, everything. It’s your health and your life -and it is your ability to choose.
(I’ll get off my soapbox now. I just think some people miss the trees because of the forest, or miss the forest for the trees, however you want to look at it.)